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Ultimately disappointing - dynagrip [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Ultimately disappointing [Mar. 28th, 2007|02:04 pm]
So I played Ultimate Frisbee last night. Apparently all of the fast and very athletic kids do not play in winter, they only show up in the spring to thoroughly embarrass me out on the field.

Hustle can only make up so much ground and I was outclassed in every area by about 10-12 of the players from a field of 18 or so.

Speed - Oh my god were they so much faster. I'd bet money that some of the dudes could run backwards faster than I can run all out. So painful.

Agility - Oh shit, the guy I'm covering made a cut, where the fuck is he. Oh no, he's in the endzone they're throwing to him. Fuck.

Hands - I got it, I got it, I got it, fuck it went right through my flipper like hands and now I have to avoid eye contact with my teammates because I cost us a score.

Endurance - What the fuck, elliptical machines? I spend all that time on you and I'm huffing and puffing like crazy out here.

Field IQ - Maybe if I just run around glancing in various directions no one will catch on that I have no fucking clue as to what I'm doing.

There was a girl there that was really damn good. She barely came off the field and she was fast as hell. I do not see many high quality female athletes just out and about. I am so glad we didn't pick teams, because she would have been picked well before me and my tender male ego would have been quite bruised.

I think maybe in spite of my love of the game that I'm just not suited for it. I am not a giant tub of lard by any means, but Ultimate attracts human gazelles, and I need a sport where I'm allowed to use my physical gifts to counter theirs, namely mass and innate savagery.

I'm going to try again next week, maybe on Thursday. Hopefully the fast fuckers only show up on Tuesdays.